Reading body Language can be helpful in determining the emotion behind, or in place of, spoken words. An adult can easily, and correctly, understand that a child is terrified of thunder when they see the child crying and covering their ears. There are mistaken notions, though, about body Language that might cause miscommunication unless the language of the entire body is read.
The eyes have long been called the windows to the soul and it might be this concept that created the largest myth in reading bodies. It is commonly believed that if a person avoids, or does not keep, eye contact, that person is not telling the truth. Though popularly understood, this is a mistaken belief. Habitual liars, in fact, will maintain prolonged eye contact as they know most people believe looking away from the eyes indicates an untruth. People who are telling the truth do not keep up eye contact as they are simply stating fact, and feel no need to convince anyone of this.
An avoidance of eye contact happens when a person is distressed or uncomfortable. A child being chastised by a parent, for example, will often look down at the ground rather than directly into the parent's eyes. Painfully shy or insecure people, as well, have a very difficult time meeting the eyes of another person in conversation. Those with little true knowledge of reading body language will, through popular error, consider the people in both of these examples as lying when, instead, the child is showing the authority figure, the parent, they are contrite and the shy person is showing a common sign of distress or discomfort.
The overall body language used need to be looked at in addition to the eye motion. Fidgeting, drumming fingers or playing with hair matched with a lack of eye contact are indicators that a person is uncomfortable with the situation or topic of discussion, yet eyes focused on a distant point by a person with crossed arms, one who is attentive to the conversation, indicates, instead, deep concentration and serious though on the topic of discussion.
Accurately reading body language can give a person insight into the thoughts, feelings and emotions of another person. To read accurately, though, it is important to remember looking at the motions, or language, of the entire body rather than looking at each part of the body as independent from the other parts.
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